Dark Days....

I know this is probably a bit self indulgent but I'm really doing it (1) to remind myself at later times and (2) possibly hold out a branch of support if anyone else goes through it... On Sunday 27th March 2011, I was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy at Stirling Royal Infirmary and - frankly - it scared the shit out of me!! Sunday morning, Fiona had just come back from taking the dogs out and in the immortal words used by many I said "I don't feel too good"... She looked at me and agreed, my left eye was wide open, pupil dilated and unable to blink, the left hand of my face was frozen and paralysed and speech was becoming almost impossible. Scary scary stuff as it hit so hard and so quickly. Fiona and I were probably both equally concerned, thinking - STROKE! I then set the wheels in motion by calling NHS 24. After a 3 hour wait (possibly until the staff had watched Scotland being beaten 2-0 by Brazil), an appointment was set for me at Stirling Royal. After a thorough consultation, blood pressure tests etc. the doctors diagnosed Bell's Palsy. Knowing nothing about this, I was initially just relieved it was not a stroke. Firstly, what is Bell's Palsy? It's a non-contageous inflamation of the facial nerve which runs through a narrow skull cavity (usually left) and then branches out to control the muscles of the eye, tongue, mouth, face and even taste. With the inflamation, the nerve swells and is constricted by the cavity - blocking the signals initially and, potentially, permanently (although this is rare). So, as is my norm (and completely bloody foolishly) I dosed up on the prescribed steriod the following day and ventured to work in Dunfermline. This was a total waste of time as I was a road hazard with a rapidly drying out left eye, a twisted face and an inability to speak. Had to be done though as there were significant operational works starting. Commitments fulfilled, I abandoned in real distress around 2pm. Following a further doctor's consultation and the provision of a further 7 days required steriods, it was identified that I would be signed off work for 2 weeks (if that's entirely possible when the Blackberry's lying there). So, what's the worst thing about this horrible condition? I've now been living with it for a week now and can sum up briefly in one word - frustration! Unlike a stroke, my brain is still functioning at lightning speed and my body physically is A1 - but communication's a real issue. As is drinking coffee I have to say - tricky for an 8 cup a day guy! The other aspect is that there is no finite timescale for Bell's Palsy to lift. Apparently it can vary from a week to a year - sometimes never. One week on I can state that it hasn't lifted although I was chuffed to bits after 5 days that I could almost blink normally again - less need for the gungy Vaseline like ointment in my eyes overnight and artifical tears during the day. I had great support from a long standing musician friend of mine, George Futter, who gave me great advice as he had suffered from this in the 70's. In a nutshell, don't stress, give it time and it WILL clear. Believe me, I appreciated this more than all the other fussing and phaffing from various people who all had "the definative timescale". George also advised adapting to the temporary paralysis and, where possible, laughing about it. VERY good advice as what the hell else can you do? One thing I will mention is stress.... Bearing in mind the communication problems, long telephone calls are a major stress and I've found over the past week they've actually aggravated the problem in the short term. Picking up the odd work email on Blackberry = stress = same aggravation. Killer blow - Letter from the Inland Revenue = STRESS = Severe aggravation! Then I simply thought, what the fuck, they can ALL wait until I'm recovered. Even, where possible, I've decided to let the answering machine filter phone calls... So, entering week 2, hopefully I'll see an ongoing improvement. Got the eye back - now can I have my speech or a coffee without dribbling please? In completely back to front order, here's how it all came about... On Tuesday 8th March I came down with the most killer dose of flu I think I've ever had! And I mean that, bed was like a swimming pool from sweating scrunched foetal in a serious fever. Again, work came first and I went in to take part in the interviewing of two candidates. I then took one day off, dosed up on whatever I could find and returned by the end of the week. Did a whole week at work the following week as I couldn't afford to be away - despite feeling like shit. Then, Saturday 19th March I woke up with severe ear ache and blood leaking from both ears - that's a worry I thought.... As a result, I took the following Monday off work and visited the doctors to find I had perforated BOTH eardrums severely (you don't ofen hear a doctor diagnosing with the words "Oh my God, that's REALLY nasty!" - encouraging huh?). Prescription antibiotics obtained it was back to work the following day because I felt I had to... Then, the following weekend - coming full circle - the Bell's Palsy hit! Conclusion bit now that I've had this for a week and, as George advised, I'm learning how to cope with it. Bell's Palsy's not infectious, it doesn't make you any less intelligent (bear in mind what I said about my mind working just as fast), it's usually a temporary condition in the vast majority of cases, stress definitely aggravates it, it takes it's own time to lift and (check out www.bellspalsy.org.uk) there's loads of famous and normal people who've had it.